Coffee Jelly at Takot


Bumili ako ng Coffee Jelly, yung grande, sa rip off na Starbaks dito sa tabi ng dorm. Sabi ko,  “Ate, yung pinakamatapang na coffee-based”. Pero kahit na ang pinaghalong jelly, kape at sandamukal na asukal, sumusuko na.

Mage-edit na ako ng Filipino. Pagkatapos, maglilipat ng nagawang istorya mula sa stationary papuntang laptop. Gusto ko nang matulog.

Mukhang mapapasubo na naman ako sa pikit-matang, nakakatarantang, kamot-ulong pagsusulat bukas. Heto na naman ako, pang-ilang screening ko na to. Pang-ilan na talaga. Ngayon, hindi na ako nagtataka, sa mga 3 hanggang 5 oras na screening. Basta pipili ako ng upuan na katabi ng pader o bintana, may dalang dyaket. Dahil alam kong 4/5 ng inilalaang panahon para magsulat ay magagasta ko sa kakaisip, kakatanga. At sa huling 40 minuto, doon mamumulikat ang mga daliri ko sa pagsulat ng mabilis, ng mga salitang nagsasayaw ng cursive.

Oras ang gugugulin, utak ay paduduguin. Sana naman ngayon, tawagan na ako. Eh pano kung hindi? Na naman?  Sus, nasasanay na ako. Pakapalan na lang ng mukha, patigasan ng ulo. Kahit parang walang napupuntahan ang tumagas na pawis at napudpod na lapis. Kahit paulit-ulit, sige okay lang. Hindi na ako natatakot sa rejection, may maganda rin naman itong naidudulot. Ang kinakatakot ko lang ay ang mga pagkakataon na dumadaosdos sa aking palad. Ang tumatakbong palayo na mga posibilidad , dahil hindi pa pala ako sapat.

Ohwells, wapakels, care ko teh! Basta push lang! Matapos lang to, ano mang mangyari, sa tingin ko magsusulat pa rin naman ako. Kaya heto ang aking self-support, self-cheer.

Go Giselle! Subok lang ng subok, huwag matakot! 

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